TreeElf's Trek Quotes

USS Defiant NX-74205

2005-05-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Defiant-class starship was officially classified as an escort, but began development in 2366 as a small, highly-powered, heavily-armed starship intended to defend the Federation against the Borg. The USS Defiant (NX-74205) was the first of what was to be a new Federation battle fleet. Starfleet abandoned the project when the Borg threat became less urgent and after design flaws turned up during the Defiant's shakedown cruise.

The Defiant prototype was pulled out of storage in 2371 when the Dominion threat emerged. After several upgrades by Operations Chief Miles O'Brien, the ship was deemed worthy of use and several more ships of the class were constructed.

U.S.S. DEFIANT - BASIC DETAILS

Class	Defiant-Class Escort
Dimensions	545ft Long , 350ft Wide, 50ft Tall
Crew	50 (Max)
Engines	Class M Warp Drive (Cruising - Warp 7; Max Sustainable - Warp 9 (Can go higher for short periods of time.))
Tactical Systems	Four pulse phase cannons, phasers, two torpedo launchers
Defensive Systems	Romulan Cloaking Device, Ablative Armour, Federation Shields

History

The Defiant-class starship was a heavily armed, limited-role Starfleet vessel, developed in response to the Borg threat, which shocked the Federation in 2367 at the Battle of Wolf 359. Subsequently, the development of a new type of starship was initiated by Starfleet in order to compensate for losses to the Borg and to be prepared for future Borg attacks. Shortly after the massacre at Wolf 359 in 2367, Lieutenant Commander Benjamin Sisko joined the developing team at the Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards.

Design and construction history

The USS Defiant (NX-74205) was the class' prototype. It was Starfleet's first true combat vessel, and therefore did not house provision for families or diplomatic missions, nor science labs or recreational facilities.

The Defiant Project logo:

The USS Defiant departs

Deep Space 9

The Defiant class was a heavily armored, stripped-down starship that was created as the first strike vehicle for use in war, and incorporated the latest in Starfleet weaponry and defensive technology. The Defiant class was also equipped with a class-7 warp drive. As befitted its role, the Defiant was considerably smaller than most other Federation starships.

The initial mission of the Defiant did not change radically until late 2370, when intelligence-gathering efforts had come upon the Jem'Hadar problem. In the final year of spaceworthiness testing (2371), the NX-74205 was redirected to starbase Deep Space 9 to become a mobile defensive platform with orders to defend the station, the wormhole, and the planet of Bajor. (DS9: "The Search, Part I")

Early service years

Once the Defiant prototype had proven itself, Starfleet took the decision to put the Defiant-class into production. By the end of 2373, there were a significant number of Defiant-class ships in operation, and over the next two years they played a vital role in the Dominion War. (DS9 Season 7)

Dominion War

The USS Defiant was destroyed by a Breen warship in 2375, during the Second Battle of Chin'toka. Another Defiant-class ship, the USS Sao Paulo, was assigned to Deep Space 9. Given the USS Defiant' exceptional record under Captain Benjamin Sisko's command, the Chief of Starfleet Operations gave a special dispensation to change the ship's name to Defiant. On this ship, the shield generators were completely reconfigured so that it would not be affected by the Breen's energy-dampening weapon. This new Defiant played a distinguished role in the final battle with the Dominion at Cardassia Prime, and remained stationed at Deep Space 9. (DS9: "The Changing Face of Evil", "The Dogs of War" and "What You Leave Behind")

Technical Data

Physical arrangement

Defiant-class vessels were constructed of standard tritanium and duranium alloys and composites. The bridge had been submerged within a larger Deck 1 than was envisioned for the pathfinder vehicle, and the entire vessel had been shortened to four decks plus allowances for crawlways and cable trunks. The notched forward hull had been equipped with a detachable pod consisting of the vehicle's main sensor and navigational deflector, airlock module, and a last-resort matter-antimatter warhead. The warp nacelles had been brought inboard to a minimum safe distance for field EM, and all EPS weapon-power conduits had been truncated to provide a nearly zero lag time between activation signal and beam launch.

All protected internal systems that required access to the vessel exterior were equipped with articulated or jettisonable hull plates, so that most of the familiar structures were hidden from view, including shuttlebay doors, docking ports, lifeboats and impulse vents.

Propulsion systems

Defiant class ships achieved warp flight through two warp nacelles, which housed multiple pairs of warp coils. The warp core spanned three decks in the aft section of the ship. The Class-7 warp drive was extremely powerful for a ship of this size, and as such, Defiant-class vessels put out a warp signature equivalent to much larger starships. (DS9: "The Search, Part I")

The primary impulse system consisted of three pairs of redundant fusion reactors, space-time driver coils, and vectored exhaust directors. All three main impulse engines were located on both Decks 2 and 3.

The Defiant fires its pulse phaser cannons.

Tactical systems

Pulse phaser cannons

A total of four pulse phaser cannon assemblies were located in forward-facing locations onboard Defiant class vessels. The cannons were located above and below the nacelle root attachments on the main body on both port and starboard sides of the ship. Due to the ship’s extreme maneuverability, yard engineers deemed it unnecessary to mount aft-facing cannons onboard vessels of this class.

Torpedo launchers

Earlier production line Defiant class vessels had a total of five torpedo launchers, three forward and two aft. During the Dominion War, it was found that Defiant class starships were better suited to engage in hostile encounters with their phaser cannons, and the awesome number of torpedo launchers only served to use up the relatively small stockpile that the ship could handle.

Along with the Sovereign class, Defiant class vessels were the only starships in the fleet normally outfitted with quantum torpedoes. But like all Starfleet vessels, the launchers onboard a Defiant-class starships were capable of firing standard photon torpedoes as well.

Deflector shields

The USS Defiant in combat.

The Defiant class carried a total of four shield generators located throughout the vehicle space frame. The forward-most generator was located along the vehicle centerline within the warhead section. Two additional generators were located further within the hull from the warp nacelles, port and starboard, while the final generator was located on the centerline just above the main impulse engines and forward of the deuterium storage tanks on Deck 1.

Ablative armor

Defensive energy shields were not the only protection the Defiant class has against enemy fire; the hull was also plated with ablative armor.

The Defiant's outer body was coated with ablative armor hull plating, a top-secret technology that had been in development for a number of years. Ablative armor provided an extra layer of defense for the vessel against enemy fire if the shields failed. It worked by forming a protective layer over the hull surface that helped disperse large amounts of incoming phaser blasts. Ablative armor dissipated phaser fire, minimizing the damage to the ship.

Warhead

With the addition of the warhead component aboard the Defiant-class, yet another radical departure has been made from Starfleet's standard policy concerning tactical operations. Designed as a single-use last-ditch explosive component, usage of the warhead weighs as heavily upon a ship's commanding officer as the possible order to initiate self-destruct.

Housed at the forward-most portion of the ship, the warhead contained the ship's main navigational deflector, forward torpedo launcher and magazine, forward airlocks, and dedicated impulse engines for independent powered flight. Access to this area was provided by two walkways on Decks 2 and 3 where miniaturized versions of the standard airlock provided sealable entry between the main vehicle and the warhead. A dedicated control room was located on Deck 2 and allowed for both user operated and automatic control of the warhead.

Typically used when the vessel was totally disabled, it should be noted that once the warhead was launched it could not be reattached to its parent craft without the assistance of a starbase equipped to handle small starships. Once the order was given, the warhead section would separate from the parent spaceframe by means of four explosive bolts that served to provide the initial forward momentum for the pod before it engaged its own engines. Once free from the ship, the warhead would automatically arm all remaining torpedoes present in the launcher storage area. Computer projections indicated that the entire warhead vehicle would be destroyed in the resulting collision between it and its target. Due to space restrictions, no escape pods were present in the warhead section, meaning any crewmembers aboard tending to the vehicle would perish in the resulting explosion. Without its main deflector dish, the Defiant class vessel would thus be unable to engage in high-warp speed travel. (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Technical Manual)

Cloaking device

The Defiant class was unique in a number of ways, not least because it was the only Federation vessel fitted with a cloaking device.

The Romulans loaned a cloaking device to the USS Defiant in exchange for the intelligence Starfleet had gathered on the Dominion. It was soon found that the cloaking device had drawbacks as it could be penetrated by certain types of antiproton beams. The Defiant was especially vulnerable as it put out a high power signature that was difficult to mask fully. However, it worked well enough to provide a major tactical advantage over Jem'Hadar ships. (DS9: "The Search, Part I")

Interior Design

Defiant-class schematics.

Due to the militaristic nature of the Defiant class starship, the interior design is the most spartan in Starfleet. The Defiant class has four decks.

Deck 1: main bridge, captain's ready room, transporter room 1, pulse phaser cannons (2), upper main engineering, plasma exhaust vents, upper sensor array, officer and crew quarters, deuterium storage.
Deck 2: lower main engineering, main impulse engines, computer core, targeting sensors, mess hall, warp coils, sickbay, medical and science laboratory, transporter room 2, officer and crew quarters, warhead control room.
Deck 3: main impulse engines, warhead impulse engines, shuttlebays 1-3, antimatter storage, cargo bays 1-4, airlocks (2), aft torpedo magazine, warp coils, shuttle and workbee maintenance.
Deck 4: landing struts, navigational deflector, pulse phaser cannons (2), forward and aft torpedo magazines, aft torpedo launchers (2), forward torpedo launcher (1), lower sensor array, shuttlebay 1-2 exterior doors and elevator system, main tractor beam emitter.

Main Bridge

The main Bridge.

The bridge layout of the Defiant was compact, but nonetheless accommodated the familiar engineering, tactical, science, conn, and ops stations.

The main Bridge acted as the nerve centre of the vessel, and the entire module was sunken into a much larger Deck 1 than on most Federation starships to provide added protection during combat situations. Access to the bridge was provided by two doorways at the back, located on both port and starboard sides. Just forward of the starboard entryway was the location of the ship's dedication plaque, as well as an auxilary computer access panel.

The port side of the bridge housed the Engineering and Tactical I stations, while the starboard side featured the Science and Tactical II consoles. Because of its nearly exclusive role as a combat vessel, stations aboard Defiant-class vessels were designed with speed in mind.

The center of the bridge featured the lone captain's chair, which was on a raised platform and had a clear view of all bridge stations, as well as of the main viewscreen. On both sides of the command chair were separate control panels, allowing the occupant access to virtually every system aboard the ship.

The Conn station.

The primary Tactical console.

Between the command chair and the viewscreen was an integrated flight control and operations panel, capable of performing the joint duties of those stations' larger counterparts on other Federation starships. Like all of the bridge stations on Defiant, the Conn had been designed for maximum speed and efficiency of commands input by the operator, allowing the craft to be handled almost like a fighter when under the hands of a skilled pilot.

The Engineering station allowed for a direct link to the impulse and warp engines, as well as monitoring of the other various systems vital to the operation of the ship. This single station was capable of mirroring all the readouts and consoles located in Main Engineering, allowing the Chief Engineer or another engineering officer to issue commands from the bridge.

Mirroring the Engineering station on the port side of the bridge was the Science station. Normally occupied by the ship's chief science officer, the panels and readouts on this station allowed direct access to the ship's sensor systems. Capable of taking high resolution scans of both natural and artificial phenomena, this station played a vital role during reconnaissance missions.

Flanking both sides of the viewscreen were two Tactical stations, which had primary access to the ship’s powerful pulse phaser cannons, torpedo launchers and various other special ordinance packages. Working closely with Conn, the officers stationed at these consoles were responsible for firing the various weapons aboard Defiant-class vessels during combat operations. The purpose of the Tactical II station is to lighten the load on its sister station, particularly in battle.

Medical facilities

The Defiant sickbay.

The main Sickbay was located on Deck 2 between the mess hall and science labs. Containing four biobeds, this room served as the primary crew support facility during emergency situations. The room was equipped with limited surgical facilities and was primarily intended to stabilize patients until they could be delivered to a nearby friendly starbase medical facility. Six stasis units were located just across the main corridor from the sickbay facility, allowing for patients to be stabilized in the event that their ailment could not be cured aboard the ship.

In its limited role as a reconnaissance starship, the Defiant class was equipped with two dedicated science and medical labs for field testing and investigations. These rooms mirrored their counterparts on larger Federation starships by making use of scaled down devices that could commonly be found on those ships. (DS9: "Broken Link")

Crew quarters

Captain Benjamin Sisko in his Ready Room.

The primary crew-support systems included twenty-two main cabins and ten contingency cabins, each equipped with a minimum of two bunks. These cabins could be outfitted with as many as six bunks, allowing for a potential total crew of 192. Each cabin was equipped with one replicator port and one standard computer terminal. Overall, crew quarters aboard Defiant class vessels were the most spartan when compared to other ships in the fleet.

With emphasis towards the tactical systems being the foremost priority in the vessel designers' minds, crewmembers had to share their quarters with at least one other crewmate during normal times of operation. Only the ship's commanding officer was given his own room on Deck 1, which doubled as an informal Ready Room.

Mess hall

Ships of the Defiant-class lacked any sort of recreational facilities, and the only place for informal gathering were the two mess hall areas located on the port side of Deck 2. Like all the equipment and materials aboard the ship, the mess hall was spartan and compact. At the head of the room were three open slots that served as dispensers for the replicators. A counter extended from the underside and was used for the placement of trays, mugs and eating utensils. Seating inside the mess hall was provided by four metallic tables arranged in a semicircle at the wider end of the room. These tables were approximately one meter square, and each has four stools connected to its legs. In addition, the mess hall doubled as a makeshift meeting area that could be used to conduct crew briefings and mission profiles. A tall screen panel located on one of the walls could be used as a visual aid to display tactical graphics. (DS9: "Valiant")

Elf's DS9 Quotes

2005-04-28T04:59:00.000-07:00

"Resistance is futile. You will disarm your weapons, and escort us to Sector 001. If you attempt to intervene, we will destroy you." -- Picard as Locutus of Borg, delivering his 'doomsday message' (Emissary)
"I have a dream; a dream that all people -- human, Jem'Hadar, Ferengi, Cardassians -- will someday stand together in peace... around my Dabo tables." -- Quark (The Search)

"Ooh... I love a woman in uniform!" -- Quark (Emissary)
"Picard would never have hit me..." (wounded voice) -- Q
- "I'm not Picard" -- Sisko (Q-less)
"Die with honour" -- Tosk (Tosk)
"I'm a doctor, not a botanist." -- Dr. Bashir (The Wire)
"In my expert medical opinion, I'd say... it's sick" -- Dr. Bashir about Dax's plant (The Wire)
"If your lies are going to be this transparent, this is going to be a very short interrogation" -- Kira
- "Then I'll try to make my lies more opaque..." -- Gul Darhe'el (Duet)
"Why? He wasn't Gul Darhe'el!" -- Kira
- "He's a Cardassian. That's reason enough." -- Bajoran
- "No... It's not..." -- Kira (Duet)
"Dad, I'm fourteen" -- Jake Sisko
- "I'm glad we agree on something" -- Commander Benjamin Sisko (Move Along Home)
"I'm sorry, Commander, but I've learned we can't afford to die here -- not even once" -- Dr. Bashir (Battlelines)
"Do I annoy you?" -- Dr. Bashir (The Storyteller)
"He's still dead, if that's what you mean" -- Dr. Bashir (Dramatis Personae)
"Sounds like Wolf 359 all over again" -- Starfleet Admiral (The Die is Cast)
"Whoah! What's that? Is that a spider or a dog?" -- Jadzia
- "It's a Paluckoo. The Bajoran moons are full of them" -- Kira
- "Oh. I suppose you used to make them your pets and sing songs about them around the campfire" -- Jadzia
- "No. We used to eat them" -- Kira (The Siege)
"The Provisional Government is going to fall, and when governments fall people like me are the first ones shot." -- Quark (Emissary)
"Cardassian rule may have been oppressive, but at least it was simple." -- Odo (Past Prologue)
"Laws change depending on who's making them, but justice is justice." -- Odo (A Man Alone)
"Rom's an idiot. He couldn't fix a straw if it was bent." -- Odo, to Quark (Babel)
"I am sorry I have no vices for you to exploit." -- Tosk (Captive Pursuit)
"I don't get out often." -- Kai Opaka to Sisko (Battle Lines)
"Nothing makes them happy! They are dedicated to being unhappy, and to spreading that unhappiness to others! They are the Ambassadors of Unhappy!" -- Bashir's response to Sisko's "keep them happy" (The Forsaken)
"The Prophets teach us patience." -- Vedek Bareil
- "It appears they also teach you politics." -- Sisko (In the Hands of the Prophets)
"Really, Doctor. Must we always play this game? I'm no more a spy than you are --" -- Garak
- "A doctor." -- Bashir (Cardassians)
"A bite on the hand is certainly worth saving a boy's life, wouldn't you say?" -- Bashir
- "I suppose it depends on whose hand .... just joking, Doctor." -- Garak (Cardassians)
"I wasn't a volunteer then. I was a member of the Underground." -- worker at Tozak Rees orphanage
- "Really? Perhaps we have met, after all!" -- Garak (Cardassians)
"We can't have these Bajorans going around killing each other." -- Dukat (Necessary Evil)
"How's my human friend? Is he behaving himself?" -- Kira
- "Everyone behaves himself when I'm in charge." -- mirror-Odo (Crossover)
"Just be careful." -- Sisko
- "Commander, there is no careful way to question a Klingon." -- Odo (Visionary)
"The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination." -- Garak (Improbable Cause)
"This is not a synthale kind of night." -- Bashir (Explorers)
"And it's from the heart; I really do... not hate you anymore!" -- O'Brien, to Bashir (Explorers)
"Captain, are you aware there's a Klingon on your bridge?" -- Dukat (The Way of the Warrior)
"All I ask is a tall ship, and a load of contraband to fill her with..." -- Quark (Little Green Men)
"I'm a much more complicated man than you give me credit for, Major." -- Dukat (Return to Grace)
"I'm sorry if I made you feel ... unwelcome. It's just my way." -- Odo (Muse)
"You've got a good start on a novel here, Jake. The dialog is sharp, the story is interesting, the characters are real... the spelling is terrible." -- Sisko (Muse)
"Is it just me, or do the stars shine a little brighter in the Gamma Quadrant?" -- Bashir
- "Is it just me, or has Julian lost his mind?" -- Dax (The Quickening)
"There's no cure for the Blight. The Dominion made sure of that. And I was so arrogant I thought I could cure it in a week." -- Bashir
- "Maybe that was arrogant. But it's even more arrogant to say that there is no cure, just because you couldn't find it." -- Dax (The Quickening)
"I hate prototypes." -- O'Brien (Apocalypse Rising)
"I have no idea what he's talking about." -- Jake, about Bashir (...Nor the Battle to the Strong)
"I see I'm going to have to add the word pickpocket to your resume." -- Odo
- "It's only a hobby." -- Garak (Things Past)
"Stop smirking." -- Dax
- "I do not smirk--but if I did, this would be a good opportunity." -- Worf (The Darkness and the Light)
"I am a graduate of Starfleet Academy; I know many things." -- Worf (The Darkness and the Light)
"You are not in my shoes." -- Worf
- "Too bad. You'd be amazed at what I can do in a pair of size 18's." -- Dax (Looking for Par'Mach in All the Wrong Places)
"Constable, why are you talking to your beverage?!?" -- Worf
- "It's not a beverage. It's a changeling." -- Odo (The Begotten)
"I suppose your gods are less vague?" -- Kira
- "Our gods are dead. Ancient Klingon warriors slew them a millenium ago." -- Worf
- "I guess I'll never understand Klingons." -- Kira
- "Don't worry Major. Nobody does." ... [whispered] "They like it that way." -- O'Brien
SEASON #1
"Commander, laws change, depending on who's making them. But justice, is justice"
- Odo, "A Man Alone" "I have no use for fantasy adventure, I am Tosk, I live the greatest adventure one could ever desire " - Tosk, DS9 "Captive Pusuit" "I am sorry - I have no vices for you to exploit." - Tosk to Quark, "Captive Pursuit" "You sleep a full third of your rotation. You rest and relax while you are awake. The Alpha quadrant has too much... 'down' time."
- Tosk to O'Brien in Quark's, "Captive Pursuit"

"I am Tosk, the hunted. I live to outwit the hunters for another day to survive until I die with honor."

- Tosk, "Captive Pursuit"

"One day as a Tosk is enough for me."

- O'Brien bids farewell to Tosk, "Captive Pursuit"

"Still chasing your own tail? Picard and his lackeys would have solved all this techno-babble hours ago. No wonder you're not commanding a starship."

- Q taunts Sisko, "Q-less"

"You Klaestrons are allies of the Cardassians. Your knowledge of this station confirms that. They must have given you the layout, which not only compromises Bajoran security, but also... annoys us."

- Kira, representing Bajoran interests, "Dax"

"Dad, I'm fourteen."
"I'm glad we agree on something."
- Jake & Benjamin Sisko, "Move Along Home" "And remember -- when in doubt, be ruthless!" - The advice of the Grand Nagus, "The Nagus" "They're putting out a mutual induction field that would block 99% of all transmissions to and from the surface."
"Is there any way for us to get a comm line through the field?"
"I've got one percent to work with, don't I?"
- O'Brien & Dax, "Battlelines"

"Why do we tell her stories about evil dwarfs who want to steal children?"

- Miles questions the wisdom of telling fairytales to Molly, "If Wishes Were Horses"

"She really is submissive, isn't she? Is that how you'd like me to be, Julian? So submissive?"
"I am not submissive. Am I?"

- Jadzia & Julian's fantasy Jadzia, "If Wishes Were Horses"

"Perimeter sensors are picking up a subspace oscillation. What the hell does that mean?"

- Kira faces technobabble from the computer, "If Wishes Were Horses"

"Don't look at me that way - I'm perfectly normal."
- Ouark, ‘Dramatis Personae’ "You can never undo what I've accomplished -- the dead will still be dead!!" - Gul Darheel, ‘Duet’ "Procreation does not require changing how you smell, or writing bad poetry, or sacrificing various plants to serve as tokens of affection." - Odo, on romance, "The Forsaken" "It's easy to look back seven centuries and judge what was right and wrong."
- Sisko, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

"Odo, I am not a killer."
"No. But most of your friends are."
"True. And I would gladly sell one of them to you if I could."

- Quark & Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

"I once asked Kai Opaka why a disbeliever was destined to seek the prophets. She told me one should never look into the eyes of one's own gods."

- Vedek Winn to Sisko, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

"Today, I am only a Vedek. If the prophets will it, someday, I may be Kai. And I can be a better friend to you then."
"In other words, being my friend now might hurt your chances."
"The prophets teach us patience."
"It appears they also teach you politics."

- Vedek Bareil & Sisko, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

SEASON #2

"Every once in a while, declare peace -- it confuses the hell out of your enemies."

- Quark quotes a Rule of Acquisition, "The Homecoming"

"What you did, Major, was declare war on Cardassia. Thankfully they declined the invitation."

- Minister Jaro to Kira, "The Homecoming"

"It might be interesting to explore useless for a while..."
- Kira, after being relieved of duties, ’The Circle’ "We've got to leave! Well, I do, anyway; you can just turn into a couch." - Quark, on the impending takeover of the station, ’The Circle’ "We've got to do something. *I've* got to do something."
- Li Nalas, "The Circle"

"There is one problem. The guys flying those ships... used to be the guys flying these ships."

- Kira dogfights, "The Siege"

"I've done everything I can to help. I would die for my people but--"
"Sure you would. Dying gets you off the hook. Question is, are you willing to live for your people? Live the role they want you to play. That's what they need from you right now."

- Li Nalas & Sisko, "The Siege"

"Humanoid death rituals are an interest of mine."
"Death rituals?"
"Everybody needs a hobby."
- Odo and Quark, "The Alternate" "I believe in coincidences. Coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences." - Garak, "Cardassians" "Excuse me. But if I understand the Cardassian political system, the civilian leaders have no direct authority over military officers..."
"Who's been tutoring you in Cardassian social studies, Doctor?"
"Your old friend, Garak."
"Well, remind my old friend that the withdrawal from Bajor was a decision made by the civilian leaders... one that I clearly opposed."
- Bashir & Gul Dukat, "Cardassians"

"So, you _deduced_ that Garak _thinks_ Dukat is lying about something you're not sure of, and you proceeded to interrupt _my_ conversation to confront him about whatever that might be."
"I'm sorry, Commander."
"Don't apologize -- it's been the high point of my day. DON'T do it again."
- Sisko & Bashir, "Cardassians" "You're not as stupid as you look."
"I am too!" - Rom pleads ignorance to Odo, ’Necessary Evil’ Commence station security log, Stardate 47282.5. At the request of Commander Sisko, I will hereafter be recording a daily log of law enforcement affairs. The reason for this exercise is beyond my comprehension, except perhaps that humans have a compulsion to keep records and lists and files, so many in fact that they have to invent new ways to store them microscopically; otherwise, their records would overrun all known civilizations. My own very adequate memory not being good enough for Starfleet, I am pleased to put my voice to this official record of this day: Everything's under control. End log. - Odo, "Necessary Evil" And of course, it doesn't hurt to be a raging egomaniac. - Prof Seytik, "Second Sight" "I thought the theoretical maximum for those engines was warp 9.5."
"It was." - O’Brien pushing a ship too far, ’Second Sight’ Phasers on stun, Mr. O'Brien. I want those voles taken ALIVE. - Sisko deals with a rodent invasion, ’Playing God’ "Serious? No. I just threw my whole life out a porthole. Nothing serious." - Arjin has a bad day, ’Playing God’ "So, how well does this woman know you? Just enough to dislike you, or well enough to *really* hate you?" - Odo to Quark, ‘Profit & Loss’ "She wants to know if it hurts. Of course it hurts, it's supposed to hurt, it's a PHASER..." - Quark, after being hit, ‘Profit & Loss’ "They made you a Gul? I didn't realize the situation on Cardassia had gotten so desperate." - Garak, ‘Profit & Loss’ "If you're not a spy ... maybe you're an outcast."
"Or maybe I'm an outcast spy."
"How can you be both?"
"I never said I was either." - Bashir and Garak, "Profit and Loss" "The trouble is EARTH. On Earth, there is no poverty, no crime, no war. You look out the window of Starfleet Headquarters and you see Paradise -- well, it's easy to be a *saint* in Paradise." - Sisko, "The Maquis, Part II" "How do you propose to stop them?"
"What's that human expression? Shoot to kill.'"
"We'll stop them with words if possible... with force if necessary."
- Dax, Dukat & Sisko deal with the Maquis, "The Maquis, Part II"

"I'm having dinner with Captain Bouday."
"The Galumite? You're going out on a date with him?"
"Is something wrong with that?"
"No. Not at all."
"He happens to be brilliant. His brain is twice the size of yours and mine."
"I know, I've seen it."
"It's not his fault that Galumites have transparent skulls."
- Dax & Kira, "The Maquis I" "The demilitarized zone."
"Not so demilitarized, I'm afraid." - Sisko & Admiral Necheyev, ‘Maquis’ A good interrogator doesn't allow his subject to die; you lose the advantage. - Gul Dukat, "The Maquis I" "I am _way_ beyond frustrated." - Kira, "Sanctuary" "That's a rather personal question."
"Sorry, but after seven lifetimes, the impersonal questions aren't much fun any more." - Odo and Dax, "Shadowplay" Garak has been lecturing me on surveillance techniques. - Julian, in way over his head, "Shadowplay" "Doctor, did anyone ever tell you that you are an infuriating pest?"
"Chief O'Brien, all the time, and I don't pay any attention to him, either." - Garak and Bashir, "The Wire" "I wasn't yelling; I was just expressing my opinion, LOUDLY." - Sisko, "The Wire" SEASON #3
"The only explanation I can find it that our leaders have simply gone *insane*."
- Garak, The Search #2 "Can I ask what you're doing?"
"Yes." - ‘Equilibrium’ "I should have gone into insurance: better hours, more money, less scruples." - Quark, "The House of Quark" "All right... let's try a less subtle approach." *fires phaser"
- Kira, "Civil Defense"

"You humans, you never learn. You let your women go out in public, hold jobs, wear clothing... and you wonder why your marriages fall apart."
- Quark, "Fascination" "How many games of racquetball have we played in the last two months?"
"I don't know ... 15, maybe 20?"
"Try 70; I've been keeping track of that, too. And you know what all those games have proved to me? That I'm a poor substitute for your WIFE."
"I coulda told you that 60 games ago." - Bashir & O’Brien, ‘Fascination’ "This ship was built to fight. I think it's time she got her chance." - Tom Riker, "Defiant" "You know, the rate we go through Runabouts, it's a good thing that Earth has so many rivers." - Kira, "Family Business" "I think you'll find that random and unprovoked executions will keep your work force alert and motivated." - Intendent Kira, "Through the Looking Glass" Sorry to hear you say that, but if you're asking for a refund, forget it. The contract specifically says that satisfaction is not guaranteed. - Quark to his customer, "Meridian" "You better hurry. I got the dampening field on this ship for a substantial discount." - Nagus Zek, regarding turbulent wormhole passage, "Prophet Motive" "Treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder." - Garak, "Second Skin" "Why should I care what the Bajoran government thinks of me? "
"I don't know. But it seems to me if someone were in trouble with the Cardassian Central Command a Bajoran space station under Federation control might just be the safest place in the galaxy."
"Commander, this is extortion."
"Hmmm.....Yes, it is." - Garak & Sisko, "Second Skin" "I'll go along on your fool's errant, but I want one thing to be perfectly clear. I have no intention of sacrificing my life to save yours. If it looks like we're in danger of being captured, if there's any sign of trouble at all, you're on your own."
" Mr. Garak, I believe that's the first completely honest thing you've ever said to me."
"How perceptive of you, commander." - Garak & Sisko, "Second Skin" "After all, we've been in worse situations than this one and come out all right."
"Name three." - Kira & Odo, ‘Heart Of Stone’ "I'm sorry, Major -- but where you see a Sword of Stars, I see a comet; where you see vipers, I see three scientists; and where you see the Emissary, I see a Starfleet officer." - Sisko, "Destiny" "I HATE temporal mechanics!" - O’Brien, ‘Visionary’ "Who am I, to argue with me." -Dr Bashir to O'Brien who gave him information from the Dr's future self in "Visionary" "Is there anything I can do for you while your gone?"
"As a matter of fact there is. In my shop, next to the replicator, if you examine the bulkhead you will find a false panel. Behind that panel is an isolinear rod. If I'm not back within 76 hours I want you take that rod and eat it."
"Eat it! You must be joking."
"Yes Doctor, I am."
"Very funny."
"Well I thought so." -Bashir to Garak as he is leaving for Cardassian space in "Improbable Cause" "Why is it no-one ever believes me even when I'm telling the truth ? "
"Have you ever heard the story about the boy who cried wolf ? "
"No "
"It's a children's story about a young shepard boy who gets lonely while attending his flock, so he cries out to the villagers that a wolf is attacking the sheep. The people come running, but of course there's no wolf. He claims that it's run away and the people praise him for his vigilance. "
"Clever lad! Charming story."
"I'm not finished. The next day the boy does it again and the next two and on the fourth day a wolf really comes. The boy cries out to the top of his lungs, but the villagers ignore him and the boy and his flock are gobbled up. "
"That's a little graphic for children, wouldn't you say? "
"But the point is; if you lie all the time nobody's going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth "
"Are you sure that's the point, doctor? "
"Of course. What else could it be? "
"That you should never tell the same lie twice " - Garak & Bashir, "Improbable Cause" "Always burn your bridges behind you; you never know who might be trying to follow." - Enabran Tain, "Improbable Cause" "No wonder the Romulans can't conquer the galaxy; no one can stomach their cuisine!" - Enabran Tain, ’The Die Is Cast’ "With all due respect, Major, you're beginning to sound like a Romulan." - Sisko to Kira,’Explorers’ "For a moment there, I thought you had been put in charge of the Cardassian Ministry for the Refutation of Bajoran Fairy Tales." - Sisko to Dukat, ’Explorers’ "People either love you or hate you. [...] I mean, I *hated* you, when we first met ... and now..."
"And now?"
"And ... now I don't." - O’Brien to Bashir, [both very drunk], "Explorers" "It has been my observation that one of the prices of giving people freedom of choice is that sometimes they make the wrong choice." - Odo, "Shakaar"
SEASON #4
"We were like warriors from the ancient sagas. There was nothing we could not do."
"Except keep the holodecks working right."
- Worf and O'Brien on life aboard the *Enterprise*, "The Way of the Warrior"

"Between ground forces and warships, the Klingons have committed almost a third of their military to this invasion."
- Dax, as Garak fits Sisko for a new suit, "The Way of the Warrior"

"Consider what you do here, Gowron. Kahless himself said, 'Destroying an Empire to win a war is no
victory'."
" '...and ending a battle to save an Empire is no defeat.'"
- Worf and Gowron, "The Way of the Warrior"

"We can still win."
"Not before those starships get here. Now, what do I tell them? To stand down... or come in firing?"
"It is we who shall stand down."
- Martok, Sisko & Gowron, "The Way of the Warrior"

"You are my favorite author of all time."
"You should read more."
- Jake Sisko, "The Visitor"

"There's only one first time for everything, isn't there? And only one last time, too."
- "The Visitor"

"Captain Sisko's right: you *are* in love with the sound of your own voice.
- Kira & Dukat, "Indiscretion"

"I know you find this hard to accept, but I believe that in some ways, the occupation actually helped Bajor."
"Which part: the massacres or the strip-mining?"
- Kira & Dukat, "Indiscretion"

"All I ask for is a tall ship, and some contraband to fill it with".
- Quark to himself in Little Green Men.

"Giving me a name tag that read 'Elim Garak, former Cardassian oppressor' was hardly polite"
- Garak recalls a history conference on Bajor about the occupation

"I'm a spy"
"A spy! And you live here? "
"Yes, I work for one of the nation-states of this era, Great Britian, which is battling various other nations in what is called the Cold War"
- Bashir explains his latest Holo-Suite program to Garak

"Kiss the girl, get the key. They never taught me that in the Obsidian Order."
- Garak, "Our Man Bashir"

"I think I joined the wrong intelligence service."
- Garak, after seeing the luxuries of Britain’s secret service, "Our Man Bashir"

"I must say... this is more than I ever wanted to know about your fantasy life, Doctor."
- Garak, to Bashir "Our Man Bashir"

"I bet they didn't teach you that in the Obsidian Order."
"No. But it seems there's a great deal they didn't teach me. Like the value of a good game of chance... or how indulging in fantasy can keep one's mind creative."
- Bashir & Garak, "Our Man Bashir"

"He admitted to committing acts of treason against the Federation. If he was going to lie, I think he would have made up a better story."
- Sisko, "Paradise Lost"

"Paradise has never seemed so well armed."
- Sisko, "Paradise Lost"

"Well...it would seem that we're not...worth...destroying."
- Dukat, after not being attacked by the Klingons; ‘Return To Grace’

"That's the thing about faith -- if you don't have it you can't understand it, and if you do ... no explanation is necessary."
- Kira, "Accession"

"Captain Bashir, Captain O'Brien, Captain Sisko. We may not have enough troops or ships or weapons, but we have *plenty* of Captains."
- "Smiley" O'Brien, "Shattered Mirror"

"You are attempting to shift the blame away from yourself!"
"Am I succeeding?"
- Worf & Garak, "Shattered Mirror"

"Violence is a precision instrument."
- Kira \ Intendent, "Shattered Mirror"

"Ah ... pattern suicide."
- O’Brien on Sisko’s flying maneuvers

"I would not become a terrorist -- it would be dishonorable."
"I wouldn't say that around Major Kira if I were you."
- Worf, "For The Cause"

"Paranoid is what they call people who *imagine* threats against their life; I *have* threats against my life."
- "For The Cause"

"It is not for us to accuse a god of betraying heaven."
- Jemhadar, "To The Death"

"I am First Omet'iklan, and I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead. We go into battle to reclaim our lives. This we do gladly, for we are Jem'Hadar. Remember, victory is life."
- Omet'iklan, "To the Death"

"I am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien. I'm very much alive, and I intend to *stay* that way."
- O'Brien, "To the Death"

"There's no cure for the Blight. The Dominion made sure of that. And I was so arrogant I thought I could cure it in a week."
"Maybe that was arrogant. But it's even more arrogant to say that there is no cure, just because you couldn't find it."
- Bashir & Dax, "The Quickening"

"Come now, Mr. Worf. You're a Klingon. Don't tell me you'd object to a little genocide in the name of self-defense."
- Garak attempts a planetary bombardment, "Broken Link"

SEASON 5

Dukat : "I hope Shakaar realizes just what a lucky man he is."
Kira : "Shakaar's not the father."
Dukat : "Then who is?"
Kira : "Chief O'Brien."
- Apocalypse Rising

"Don't forget, this is still your fault."
"My fault?"
"You performed the transfer from Keiko to me."
"After you volunteered."
"After you put the idea in my head."
- Kira and Bashir, (in the real world, it is his 'fault'), "Apocalypse Rising"

"Me? Out of breath? I was climbing mountains in Ireland before you were out of diapers."
"You mean hills, don't you? They have gently sloping hills in Ireland. No mountains. But what do I know? After all, you're the mountain man."
- Muniz and O'Brien, "The Ship"

"Besides ... I have to be in surgery, operating."
"On who?"
"I'll find someone."
- Bashir, "The Assignment"

"Well, I'd better be going. I left a patient on the operating table."
- Bashir, "The Assignment"

"Never mind; I don't need that particular image running around in my head. I'll just treat you... I don't need that image, either; in fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's *all*.
- Bashir, treating Quark & Grilka, then Dax & Work, "Looking for Par'mach"

Sisko : "In the old days, operations officers wore red, command officers wore gold--"
Dax : "And women wore less."
Bashir : "I think I'm going to like history."
- Trials and Tribble-ations

"I can't wait to get back to Deep Space Nine and see your face when you find out I never existed."
- Bashir to O'Brien, attempting to dissect a pre-destination paradox, "Trials and Tribbleations"

"Do_not_ hug_ me"
- Worf to Bashir, "Let He Who is without Sin" "Well, I guess you're not as successful a businessman as you think you are."
"Which means you spent the last ten years of your life trying to catch a nobody--with little success, I might add. So you tell me, which one of us is the bigger failure?" - Odo and Quark, "The Ascent" "I'm not trying to rescue you -- I'm taking you along as emergency rations." - Quark & Odo, "The Ascent" "Don't thank me, I already regret it." - Quark & Odo, "The Ascent" "You wouldn't last a week at the Academy."
"You're right. I'd die of embarrassment wearing those pyjamas." - Nog and Jake, "The Ascent" "I do not smirk -- but if I did, this would be a good opportunity." - Worf, "Darkness & The Light" "What better way to gauge another race than to see how it treats the weak and vulnerable?" - "The Begotten" "At the first sign of betrayal, I will kill him -- but I promise to return the body intact."
"I assume that's a joke."
"We will see." - Garak?, "In Purgatory’s Shadow" "The man is a heartless, cold-blooded killer."
"Like I said, he's a Cardassian." - Kira, "In Purgatory’s Shadow" "I'd like to get my hands on that fellow Earl Grey and tell him a thing or two about tea leaves." - ? "In Purgatory’s Shadow" "You've come a long way from the naive young man I met five years ago. You've become distrustful and suspicious. It suits you."
"I had a good teacher." - Garak & Bashir, "In Purgatory’s Shadow" "There sure are a lot of them."
"That'll just make it harder for us to miss." - ? "By Inferno’s Light" "Why is everyone so worried about holograms taking over the universe?" - ? "Dr.Bashir, I Presume" "Think of it, Julian: if this thing works, you'll be able to irritate people you've never even met." - O’Brien, "Dr.Bashir, I Presume" "What are you telling me: my baby's just *sad*?"
"Perhaps he's become prematurely aware of life's existential isolation."
"You're sure it's not a rash?"
"Look on the bright side - he'll probably be a great poet." - O’Brien & Bashir, "Business As Usual" "Getting away is something we've become very good at. The Rotarran can run away from battle faster than any ship in the quadrant." - Soldiers Of The Empire "How's the intelligence business?"
"Oh, I can't talk about it. All I can do is read these fascinating reports and analyses, and analyses of analyses, and then keep it all to myself -- because no one else has a 'need to know.' So, I have to walk around this station feeling like I ... you don't really care, do you?"
"No." - O’Brien & Bashir, "Soldiers Of The Empire" "We had the Cardassians on the run!"
"And look where they ran - right into the arms of the Dominion. End of story."
- Eddington and Sisko, "Blaze of Glory"

"Attacking two Jem'Hadar soldiers with a pipe: that's a brilliant plan."
"It could be worse."
"I know; it could be ME holding the pipe."
"Exactly."
- Sisko & Eddindgton, "Blaze Of Glory" "At this rate, we're gonna run out of ships."
"That's not funny."
"It wasn't meant to be." - Bashir, "In The Cards" "It's not my fault your species decided to abandon currency-based economics in favor of some ... philosophy of self-enhancement." - Nog, "In The Cards" "Not even for my father ... the man who made it possible for you to enter Starfleet Academy."
"Oh, no -- that's not fair."
"The man who believed in you when no one else would."
"Oh, this is *so* low..."
"I can't believe you'd rather keep your filthy money in a box under a bed than use it to give him endless moments of happiness."
"Aaaaargh! All right, all right!" - Jake convinces Nog to part with his money, "In The Cards" "Let me ask you both a simple question: do you want to die?"
"Death is nothing more than the result of cellular boredom."
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little obsessed."
"I haven't done anything wrong, and I won't be hounded by you and your soulless minions of orthodoxy. I haven't broken any laws ... except perhaps the laws of nature ... so stay away from me." - Dr.Geiger, "In The Cards" "Can you promise me that you will not let one Jem'Hadar soldier set foot on Bajor? Can you promise me that you will use your entire fleet to protect our planet, even if it means sacrificing other worlds, like Vulcan, or Andor, or Berengaria, or perhaps even Earth itself?"
"I can't make that kind of promise."
"I wouldn't believe you if you did. So you see my predicament." - Kai Winn, contemplating a pact with the Dominion, "In The Cards" "Jake, as your friend, I think I should tell you you're starting to go over the edge." - Nog, "In The Cards" "We're working for Starfleet intelligence."
"Oh, no..."
"I believe you."
"You do?"
"Yes. That is, I believe your *first* story, that you're two innocent boys trying to give a gift to Captain Sisko."
"You're very wise."
- Nog, Jake & Weyoun, "In The Cards"

"Dear, I find your blind adoration both flattering and disturbing"
- Garak to Ziyal, "A Call To Arms" "Don't forget the 190th Rule of Acquisition."
"'Hear all, trust nothing'. Good advice sir."
- Sisko & Nog, "A Call To Arms"

"One thing is certain: we're losing the *peace*, which means a war may be our only hope."

- Sisko, "A Call To Arms"

"It's ironic ... when the Klingons attacked the station, Gul Dukat and I were fighting side by side. At one point, he turned his back to me, and I must admit, he made a very tempting target."
"You'd shoot a man in the back?"
"It's the safest way, isn't it? But then I thought, well, no, I can't fight these Klingons all by myself, so I let him live."
"And now you regret it."
"Ah, my dear Constable ... before this day is over, everyone on this station is going to regret it."

- Garak and Odo, "A Call To Arms"

"These are the times that try men's souls."

- Sisko quotes Thomas Paine, "A Call To Arms"

SEASON SIX

"I'm willing to bet that you've brought one of those famed Starfleet engineers who can turn rocks into replicators."
- Vorta Keevan, "Rocks And Shoals" "There are rules, Garak, even in war."
"Correction: humans have rules in war - rules that tend to make victory a little harder to achieve, in my opinion." - Garak, "Rocks And Shoals" "When I was in the resistance, I despised people like me." - Kira, "Rocks And Shoals" "It's an old naval tradition: whoever's in command of a ship, regardless of rank, is referred to as Captain."
"You mean if I had to take command, I would be called Captain too?"
"Cadet, by the time you took command, there'd be nobody left to call you anything." - Nog and O'Brien, "Behind The Lines" "Can you believe it? They made me an Ensign!"
"I hadn't realized things were going so bad."
"Scary, isn't it?" - Nog, "Favour The Bold" "That is a prejudiced, xenophobic view."
"We ARE Klingons, Worf." - Worf & Martok, "You Are Cordially Invited" "Miles?"
"Yeah?"
"It's working. I've had a vision about the future. I can see it so clearly." "What is it?"
"I'm gonna kill Worf." - Julian & O'Brien, "You Are Cordially Invited" "Funny, he doesn't look like a mutant." - ???, "Statistical Probabilities" "It's not our place to decide who lives and who dies. We're not gods!"
"Maybe not--but we're the next best thing." - ???, "Statistical Probabilities" "We did not choose to be the superior race. Fate handed us that role." - Dukat, "Waltz" "It's like the river calls to me."
"Yes, it's saying 'Stay away. Don't come near me, or I'll hurt you MORE!'" - O'Brien & Julian, "Inquisistion" "People are dying out there every day. Entire worlds are struggling for their freedom--and here I am, still worrying about the finer points of morality!"
- Sisko, "In The Pale Moonlight"

"So, you're the captain of Deep Space Nine, and the Emissary to the Prophets. Decorated combat officers, widower, father, mentor--and oh, yes, the man who started the war with the Dominion. So, I thought you'd be taller."
- Senator Vreenak, "In The Pale Moonlight" "That's why you came to see me--isn't it, Captain? Because you knew I could do those things you weren't capable of doing. Well, it worked! And you'll get what you want - a war between the Romulans and the Dominion. And if your conscience is bothering you, you should soothe it with the knowledge that you may have just saved the entire Alpha Quadrant, and all it cost was the life of one Romulan senator, one criminal, and the self-respect of one Starfleet officer. I don't know about you, but I'd call that a bargain." - Garak, "In The Pale Moonlight" "So: I lied... I cheated... I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But the most damning thing of all: I think I can live with it, and if I had to do it all over again, I would." - Sisko, "In The Pale Moonlight" "You're not exactly the most lovable person in the galaxy. You're not even the most lovable person in this sector - or on the station - or even in this room." - ? to Odo, "His Way" "Long day?"
"They seem to get longer."
- Kira to Sisko, "The Reckoning"

"The Sisko has completed his task."

- Prophet, "The Reckoning"

"A Dominion invasion of Ferenginar?"
"Think of the terrible repercussions to the Alpha Quadrant!"
"I cannot think of any."
- Profit And Lace "I'm disappointed in you, Chief. If anyone could break a prisoner out of a holding cell and get them off the station, I'd have thought it would have been you." - Odo, "Time's Orphan" SEASON SEVEN
"So, what'd you find out?"
"That you should never try to match drinks with a Klingon."
- Bashir & O'Brien, "Image in the Sand"

"It's a strange sensation - dying. No matter how many times it happens to you, you never get used to it."
- Ezri, recalling past deaths, "Afterimage"

"You're a therapist?"
"Why does everyone sound so surprised when they hear that???"
- Quark & Ezri, "Afterimage"

"Spare me your insipid psychobabble. I'm not some quivering neurotic who feels sorry for himself because his daddy wasn't nice. You couldn't begin to understand me!"
- Garak respond to Ezri's help, "Afterimage"

"So, there I was... drunk... and debating logic versus emotion with a very smug, very sober Vulcan."
- Sisko recollects, "Take Me Out To the Holosuite"

"All right now, let's hear some chatter!"
"Hey, batter batter batter!"
"Hey, batter batter batter!"
"Death to the opposition!"
- The crew play baseball, "Take Me Out To The Holosuite"

"You are attempting to manufacture triumph where none exists."
"I'd say he succeeded."
"To manufactured triumph."
"Manufactured triumph: hear, hear!"
- The crew rejoice in defeat, "Take Me Out To The Holosuite"

"The fact is that the universe is going to *stop* expanding and it is going to collapse in on itself. We've gotta do something before it's too late."
"How much time do we have left?"
"Sixty trillion years--seventy at the most."
"Oh, no..."
- The Jack-Pack, "Chrysalis"

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Chief, I can't operate under those kind of restrictions."
- Chief O'Brien & Nog, "Treachery, Faith and the Great River"

"Of course I'm paranoid, everyone's trying to kill me."
- Weyoun, "Treachery, Faith and the Great River"

"Has it ever occurred to you that the reason you believe the Founders are gods is because that's what they want you to believe? That they built it into your genetic code?"
"Of course they did. That's what gods do. Why be a god if there's no one to worship you?"
- Odo and Weyoun, "Treachery, Faith and the Great River"

"Just another sailor on the Great River."
- Nog admires the Great Material Continuum, "Treachery, Faith and the Great River"

"Worf, you've been living with this democratic rabble for too long."
- Kor to Worf, "Once More Unto The Breach"

"I don't want to go back to my quarters. Actually, I don't want to go back to my life."
- Nog, "It's Only A Paper Moon"

"How can hiding in one of Julian's adolescent programs be a good sign?"
"Hey."
"It could be worse. He could be hiding in the Alamo program."
"Or that ridiculous secret-agent program."
"Hey--"
"Or that stupid Viking program."
"HEY!"
- ???, "It's Only A Paper Moon"

"He has bumps on his forehead, she has a wrinkled nose - but basically, they're alike. They're bipeds that eat, sleep, breathe... you and I are nothing like them."
"We're Changelings. We can be 'like' them when we choose."
- Laas & Odo, "Chimera"

"We're at war with your people; this is no time for a Changeling Pride demonstration on the Promenade"
- Quark, "Chimera"

"They tolerate you, Odo, because you emulate them. What higher flattery is there? 'I, who can be anything, choose to be like you?' "
- Laas, "Chimera"

"I live in hope that one day you'll come to see this universe for what it truly is, rather than what you'd wish it to be."
- Garak, "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges"

"You are a man who loves secrets - medical, personal, fictional. I am a man of secrets. You want to know what I know, and the only way to do that is to accept the mission."
- Sloan, "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges"

"When the war is over the following will happen in short order: the Dominion will be forced back to the Gamma Quadrant, the Cardassian Empire will be occupied, the Klingon Empire will spend the next ten years recovering from the war and won't pose a serious threat to anyone. That leaves two powers to vie for control of the quadrant: the Federation and the Romulans."
- Sloan, "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges"

"'In time of war, the law falls silent.' Cicero."
"So, is that what we have become? A 24th-century Rome?"
- Sloan & Bashir, "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges"

"Are you expecting applause? Have you come to take a bow?"
"I just wanted to say thank you."
"For what? Allowing you to manipulate me so completely?"
"For being a decent human being. That's why we selected you in the first place, Doctor. We needed somebody who wanted to play the game, but who would only go so far."
- Bashir & Sloan, "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges"

"The Federation needs men like you, Doctor - men of conscience, men of principle... men who can sleep at night. You're also the reason Section 31 exists - someone has to protect men like you from a universe that doesn't share your sense of right and wrong."
"Should I feel sorry for you? Should I be weeping over the burden you're forced to carry in order to protect the rest of us?"
"It is an honor to know you, Doctor. Good night."
- Sloan & Bashir, "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges"

"What could she be thinking?"
"She's a Dax. Sometimes, they don't think, they just *do*."
- Bashir and Sisko, "Penumbra"

"Worf, face it. The guard-my-cellmate-is-ill trick didn't work. Neither did your I'll-make-a-tool-and-short-circuit-the-door idea."
- Ezri, "Til Death Do Us Part"

"They'll just make another copy of him, you know. You should've killed me - there's only one Damar."
- Damar to Worf, after Worf kills Weyoun, "Strange Befellows"

"Leave me!"
"Oh shut up."
- An injured Worf, and Ezri, "Strange Bedfellows"

"Julian?"
"Yes?"
"We have to get up."
"Are you sure?"
"It's a big day."
"It was a big night. Cleared up a lot of unanswered questions."
"Such as?"
"Such as just how far these spots really go down."
- Ezri and Julian, "What You Leave Behind"

SEASON 8

The trio of fighters were pulling away from their first run, flashes of brilliant light sparking from a series of shield deflections across the rapidly approaching Aldebaran's bow. The Nebula-class starship seemed slow and lumbering as the three Jem'hadar peeled away and looped back, strafing the saucer's underbelly, their tactical choreography almost like hunting — a pack of vicious carnivores attacking some mammoth beast.
- Narration, in SD Perry's "Avatar: Book One"

Shar nodded, wondering if he's made a mistake in his approach. In his own culture, asking someone's opinion without offering one's own was a gesture of respect, and it had worked well with the captain of the Tamberlaine, a human male... maybe Bajorans were different. Or females.
- Narration, in SD Perry's "Avatar: Book One"

Bashir considered responding, but decided that between expressing his own opinion and prolonging the conversation, the latter would be the greater evil. Quark wasn't interested in anyone else's opinion, anyway.
- Narration, in SD Perry's "Avatar: Book One"

The door opened and Bashir stepped inside, smiling when he saw her in front of the mirror. She frowned, running her fingers through her hair. brushing it forward and then pushing it back. "It's short, Ezri," he said, moving to stand behind her, speaking to her reflection. He slid his arms around her waist, resting his chin on top of her head. It always amazed her, how well they fit together. "There's just not much that you can do with it."
- Narration, in SD Perry's "Avatar: Book One"

Shar was both intrigued and somewhat perplexed by the behavior of some of his crewmates as conditions aboard the station deteriorated. The more the place began to feel like a frontier outpost, the happier some of the old hands seemed to be. Dr. Bashir was practically giddy about it sometimes. Shar had begun to form the opinion that these people were in serious need of some leave time, a lot of leave time.
- Narration, in David Weddle's "Section 31: Abyss"

"The history of the Federation is steeped in examples of peoples who were able to successfully battle larger, better-equipped, and more advanced aggressors because the citizen-soldier is always going to be more creative and resourceful, better able to adapt to changing conditions on the battlefield. It was an army that fought for a love of freedom, not a love of slaughter, that defeated the Dominion's genetically engineered legions."
- Bashir, in David Weddle's "Section 31: Abyss"

It wasn't too long ago when she had considered the doctor an open book, a man who was all too eager to reveal everything about himself. But now Kira understood that this had been a ruse, a persona created to conceal the 'real' Julian Bashir.
- Kira, in David Weddle's "Section 31: Abyss"

"How many crash landings is that for you now?"
"Actual contact between a ship and a planet's surface? Four."
- Ezri Dax and Bashir, in David Weddle's "Section 31: Abyss"

"What's the fun of having a secret base if you can't show it off?"
- Dr Ethan Locken, in David Weddle's "Section 31: Abyss"

"I believe he could rule the humans if he wished to — some of them at any rate — but he chooses not to. He is a soldier of a sort, but he fights a different war..."
- Taran'tar, describing Bashir, in David Weddle's "Section 31: Abyss"

"Your little pet slug girl."
- Locken, riling Bashir about Ezri, in David Weddle's "Section 31: Abyss"

"In my culture, this means we have made a pact."
"In mine it means you have agreed to watch over my children while I go look for something to eat."
- Ro Laren and Kel, pressing palms and making a bond, "Section 31: Abyss"

"The text you recovered has to be some sort of scripture. Sacred writings. A body of legend which may be based upon certain objectively true information. Or myth-driven ethical pronouncements, like the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition."
- Ensign Shar, in Michael A. Martin's "Mission Gamma: Cathedral"

Somehow, [Ezri had] managed to pass "Burning Hearts of Qo'noS" among every member of the crew along the way. Even Senkowski had finally broken down and read the Klingon romance novel, after a particularly brutal loss in the crew's regular poker game. Once boredom with the usual stakes had set in, Prynn (of course) had suggested betting dares. The game quickly became more popular than ever among the winners, and despised among the losers — Senkowski having been among the latter, after he accepted the dare to read "Burning Hearts of Qo'noS" during a savage hand of five-card stud with Lieutenant Nog. One helluva voyage indeed.
- Narration, in Robert Simpson's "Mission Gamma: Lesser Evil"

Kiss Me, I'm Irish.
- Treir, green-skinned Orion dabo girl, wearing a suitable t-shirt, "Mission Gamma: Lesser Evil"

"So, what do you think our chance of success is? Two percent? One?"
- Nog, preparing for a daunting mission, in Robert Simpson's "Mission Gamma: Lesser Evil"

"Sir, with all due respect, I knew your son as a father, a soldier, a diplomat, a shipwright, an exporer, a religious icon, a baseball fan, not to mention an exceptional cook... you should be proud of him".
- Chief O'Brien, to Joseph Sisko, in Robert Simpson's "Mission Gamma: Lesser Evil"

"Much about this quadrant takes getting used to. Plurality. Freedom. Chaos."
- Taran'tar, of the Jem'Hadar, in SD Perry's "Unity"

Nog had long ago learned how to look interested without hearing a word. A trick his father had once taught him, actually — a slight frown for a count of five, a slight smile for a count of three, two slow nods, then ten seconds of thoughfulness followed by an appreciative grunt. Repeat.
- Narration, in SD Perry's "Unity"

"In our religion, it is said that our lives are like tapestries, all of us weaving our own stories... and that those stories become threads in a much greater Tapestry."
- Opaka Sulan, in SD Perry's "Unity"

EARLIER NOVELS

"No! Now, which word of that didn't you understand?"
"Most likely the declarative negative. Apparently the Ferengi don't have a word in their language for 'no'."
"That's not true. We have several, depending on how much negotiation it will take to change your mind."
- Kira, Odo and Quark, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

The paramilitary cells who'd begun shaking their fists in the northern provinces these last few months were little more than old resistance fighters with a new bone to chew. "Oppression is oppression!" was their cry — they claimed little difference between the Cardassians' iron bootheels and the Federation's paternal "control by example" from their lofty space-station pedestal. As far as Kira was concerned, all you had to do was look at their respective medical facilities to appreciate how unrelated their motives toward Bajor were.
- Narration, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

"I thought that was supposed to be the difference between democracy and dictatorship? You don't have to blow up things just to have your voice heard."
"The humans say old habits die hard."
- Kira and Odo, discussing the situation on Bajor, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

Which meant that Humans and Bajorans had something in common, although perhaps not the best attributes of either.
- Narration, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

"I believe Sterchak's principal states that any complex phenomenon which occurs only one indicates a high probability of sentient life."
- Jadzia Dax, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

"If indeed there are sentient creatures living in the Bajoran wormhole and keeping it open with some unimaginable technology, would they not represent an evolutionary anomaly? They cannot have evolved from nonsentient precursors in such a hostile environment."
"Perhaps they didn't, Honored Professor. Perhaps they evolved in a more hospitable environment first, and only colonized the wormhole later."
- Professor T'Kreng and Cadet Heather Petersen, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

"You can learn a lot about an enemy by seeing what they leave behind on the battlefield."
- Benjamin Sisko, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

"I shall start from the beginning. This is Professor T'Kreng of the Vulcan Scienec Academy. I have been killed and eaten by an alien of unknown affinity, one of a swarm which engulfed my research vessel."
- Professor T'Kreng, with a letter from beyond the veil, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

"An inability to control all aspects of a problem is no excuse for neglecting the aspects you can control."
- Professor T'Kreng, in LA Graf's "Invasion: Time's Enemy"

The Ferengi glared ay his old nemesis Odo... the pair had known and hated each other with passion since long before the Federation even know of the existence of DS9. The marriage of hatred between Quark and Odo predated O'Brien's marriage of love with Keiko, which seemed to have been around forever; Sisko was probably still a lieutenant commander without his own ship yet when Quark and Odo met and discovered revulsion at first sight... with a connection of hatred going back so far into the mists of antiquity, how could Quark and Odo not be the closest of enemies?
- Narration, from Daffyd ab Hugh's "Rebels: The Conquered"

"You see, Odo? If only the hu-mans would start to teach the Rules of Acquisition in Starfleet Academy, they could rule the... wait. Forget I said anything."
- Quark, in Daffyd ab Hugh's "Rebels: The Conquered"

From O'Brien's passionate, rich, Irish cusring, Quark's temper tantrum, and Odo's look of disgust, Worf understood the answer even without anyone answering.
- Narration, from Daffyd ab Hugh's "Rebels: The Conquered"

"I would kill a million for a reason, but I wouldn’t kill even one for no reason."
- The High Gul, in Diane Carey's "Station Rage"

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

2005-04-27T23:39:00.000-07:00

1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. [Rom, "The Nagus"]
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. [Quark, "The Maquis Part II"]
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. [Zek, "The Nagus"]
7. Keep your ears open. [Odo, "Hands of the Prophet"]
8. Small print leads to large risk. [TFRA (p6)]
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. [Nog, "The Storyteller"]
10. Greed is eternal. [Quark, "Prophet Motive"]
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. [TFRA (p9)]
16. A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along.) [Quark, "Melora"]
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. [Ben Sisko & Nog, "Heart of Stone"]
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. [TFRA (p12)]
21. Never place friendship above profit. [Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"]
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. [TFRA (p16)]
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. [Quark, "The Siege"]
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. [Quark & Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
34. War is good for business. [Quark & Dax, "Destiny"]
35. Peace is good for business. [Quark & Dax, "Destiny"]
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum. [TFRA (p23)]
41. Profit is its own reward. [TFRA (p24)]
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck. [TFRA (p25)]
47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own. [Quark, "Rivals"]
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
52. Never ask when you can take. [TFRA (p28)]
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them. [Quark, "Armageddon Game"]
58. There is no substitute for success. [TFRA (p30)]
59. Free advice is seldom cheap. [Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"]
60. Keep your lies consistent. [TFRA (p33)]
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff. [TFRA (p36)]
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. [Quark, "Civil Defense"]
76. Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. [Quark, "The Homecoming"]
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. [TFRA (p41)]
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price. [TFRA (p42)]
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking. [TFRA (p43)]
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits. [TFRA (p44)]
94. Females and finances don't mix. [TFRA (p46)]
97. Enough...is never enough. [TFRA (p47)]
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all. [TFRA (p48)]
102. Nature decays, latinum last forever. [Quark & Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"]
103. Sleep can interfere....[cut off] [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory. [TFRA (p50)]
106. There is no honor in poverty. [TFRA (p51)]
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. [Quark, "Rivals"]
111. Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them. [Ben Sisko, "Past Tense, Part I"]
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister. [Quark, "Playing God"]
113. Always have sex with the boss. [TFRA (p56)]
121. Everything is for sale, including friendship. [TFRA (p58)]
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. [TFRA (p59)]
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead. [Quark, "The Siege of AR-558"]
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. [Odo, "Necessary Evil"]
141. Only fools pay retail. [TFRA (p61)]
144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket. [TFRA (p62)]
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit. [TFRA (p63)]
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always. [TFRA (p64)]
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. [TFRA (p65)]
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. [TFRA (p66)]
190. Hear all, trust nothing. [Ben Sisko & Nog, "A Call to Arms"]
192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you're sure you can get away with it. [TFRA (p67)]
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. [Quark, "Whispers"]
202. The justification of profit is profit. [TFRA (p69)]
203. New customers are like razor toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. [Rom, "Little Green Men"]
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. [Zek, "Ferengi Love Songs"]
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them. [Frool, "The Bar Association"]
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. [Quark, "The Maquis Part I"]
217. You can't free a fish from water. [Quark, "Past Tense, Part I"]
218. Always know what you're buying. [TFRA (p71)]
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. [TFRA (p72)]
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. [TFRA (p74)]
236. You can't buy fate. [TFRA (p75)]
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. [Grand Nagus Gint, "Body Parts"]
242. More is good...all is better. [TFRA (p76)]
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity. [TFRA (p77)]
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. [TFRA (p78)]
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. [Rom, "The Bar Association"]
266. When in doubt, lie. [TFRA (p79)]
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi. [TFRA (p80)]
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. [Quark, "The Collaborator"]

The following "honorable mentions" come from Jill Sherwin's Quotable Star Trek (Pocket Books, 1999).

"Rule of Acquisition Two-eighty-six: 'When Morn leaves, it's all over.'"
"There is no such rule.'"
"There should be."
-- Quark and Rom, DS9 / "The House of Quark"

"The two hundred and ninety-ninth Rule of Acquisition: 'Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them.' That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time."
-- Neelix to Arridor, making up a new Rule of Acquisition
VGR / "False Profits"

Elf's TOS Quotes

2005-04-27T23:17:00.000-07:00

I've already got a female to worry about. Her name is the Enterprise.
-- Kirk, "The Corbomite Maneuver", stardate 1514.0

Beam me up, Scotty!

Beam me up, Scotty! It ate my phaser!

Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!

"Beauty is transitory."
"Beauty survives."
-- Spock and Kirk, "That Which Survives", stardate unknown

Extreme feminine beauty is always disturbing.
-- Spock, "The Cloud Minders", stardate 5818.4

"That unit is a woman."
"A mass of conflicting impulses."
-- Spock and Nomad, "The Changeling", stardate 3541.9

I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to
any question.
-- Spock, "This Side of Paradise", stardate 3417.3

A little suffering is good for the soul.
-- Kirk, "The Corbomite Maneuver", stardate 1514.0

A star captain's most solemn oath is that he will give his life, even
his entire crew, rather than violate the Prime Directive.
-- Kirk, "The Omega Glory", stardate unknown

A woman should have compassion.
-- Kirk, "Catspaw", stardate 3018.2

You're too beautiful to ignore. Too much woman.
-- Kirk to Yeoman Rand, "The Enemy Within", stardate unknown

After a time, you may find that "having" is not so pleasing a thing,
after all, as "wanting." It is not logical, but it is often true.
-- Spock, "Amok Time", stardate 3372.7

But Captain -- the engines can't take this much longer!

"Can you imagine how life could be improved if we could do away with
jealousy, greed, hate ..."
"It can also be improved by eliminating love, tenderness, sentiment --
the other side of the coin"
-- Dr. Roger Corby and Kirk, "What are Little Girls Made Of?",
stardate 2712.4

Change is the essential process of all existence.
-- Spock, "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield", stardate 5730.2

Compassion -- that's the one things no machine ever had. Maybe it's
the one thing that keeps men ahead of them.
-- McCoy, "The Ultimate Computer", stardate 4731.3

Conquest is easy. Control is not.
-- Kirk, "Mirror, Mirror", stardate unknown

Earth -- mother of the most beautiful women in the universe.
-- Apollo, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" stardate 3468.1

Emotions are alien to me. I'm a scientist.
-- Spock, "This Side of Paradise", stardate 3417.3

Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected.
-- Spock, "The Squire of Gothos", stardate 2124.5

I am pleased to see that we have differences. May we together become
greater than the sum of both of us.
-- Surak of Vulcan, "The Savage Curtain", stardate 5906.4

I object to intellect without discipline; I object to power without
constructive purpose.
-- Spock, "The Squire of Gothos", stardate 2124.5

Bones' "I'm a doctor quotes":

"I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
-- "The Doomsday Machine", when asked if he had heard of
the idea of a doomsday machine.

"I'm a doctor, not an escalator."
-- "Friday's Child", when asked to help the very pregnant
Ellen up a steep incline.

"I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer."
-- Devil in the Dark", when asked to patch up the Horta.

"I'm a doctor, not an engineer."
-- "Mirror, Mirror", when asked by Scotty for help in
Engineering aboard the ISS Enterprise.

"I'm a doctor, not a coalminer."
-- "The Empath", on being beneath the surface of Minara 2.

"I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist."
-- "City on the Edge of Forever", on Edith Keeler's remark

that Kirk talked strangely.

"I'm no magician, Spock, just an old country doctor."
-- "The Deadly Years", to Spock while trying to cure the
aging effects of the rogue comet near Gamma Hydra 4.

"What am I, a doctor or a moonshuttle conductor?"
-- "The Corbomite Maneuver", when Kirk rushed off from a
physical exam to answer the alert.

Insults are effective only where emotion is present.
-- Spock, "Who Mourns for Adonais?" stardate 3468.1

It is a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if
they're attractive in some way.
-- McCoy, "The Trouble with Tribbles", stardate 4525.6

It would be illogical to assume that all conditions remain stable.
-- Spock, "The Enterprise" Incident", stardate 5027.3

Love sometimes expresses itself in sacrifice.
-- Kirk, "Metamorphosis", stardate 3220.3

Men will always be men -- no matter where they are.
-- Harry Mudd, "Mudd's Women", stardate 1329.8

Murder is contrary to the laws of man and God.
-- M-5 Computer, "The Ultimate Computer", stardate 4731.3

Suffocating together ... would create heroic camaraderie.
-- Khan Noonian Singh, "Space Seed", stardate 3142.8

Vulcans never bluff.
-- Spock, "The Doomsday Machine", stardate 4202.1

Live long and prosper.
-- Spock, "Amok Time", stardate 3372.7

Elf's TNG Quotes

2005-04-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

"Fate protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise" -- Cmdr. Riker (Contagion)

"Five card stud, nothing wild. And the sky's the limit" -- Picard, uttering the last line of the TV series (All Good Things...)

"If you prick me, do I not... leak?" -- Data (The Naked Now)

"But this is the court of the year 2079, by which time all 'United Earth' nonsense had been abolished" -- Q, presiding in a postholocaust court (Encounter at Farpoint)

"Well it's a new ship - but she's got the right name. Now you remember that, you hear?" -- Leonard 'Bones' McCoy
"I will, Sir" -- Data
"You treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home" -- McCoy (Encounter at Farpoint, Part I)

"It never happened" -- Yar to Data (The Naked Now)

"Eaten any good books lately?" -- Q (to Worf) (Deja-Q)

"Our neural pathways have become accustomed to your sensory input patterns" -- Riker, quoting Data's definition of friendship (Time's Arrow, Part 1)

"Masculine and feminine. I understand" -- Nagillum
"Yes. That is how we propogate our species" -- Picard
"Please demonstrate" -- Nagillum
"Not likely!" -- Dr. Pulaski (Where silence has lease)

[K'Ehleyr breaks a glass table as Deanna Troi walks in the door]
"You're upset" -- Troi
"Your finely honed Betazoid senses tell you that" -- K'Ehleyr
"That and the table" -- Troi (The Emissary)

"The universe is a spheroid region, 705 metres in diameter" -- The Computer (Remember Me)

"But I have no sexual desire" -- Data
"Ah! Impotence on top of everything!" -- Sigmund Freud (Phantasms)

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!" -- Sigmund Freud (Phantasms)

"Federation ship Enterprise, surrender and prepare to be boarded" -- Klingon Captain
"That will be the day!" -- Picard (Yesterday's Enterprise)

[after they kiss]
"What were you just thinking?" -- Jenna"
In that particular moment, I was reconfiguring the warp field parameters, analyzing the collected works of Charles Dickens, calculating the maximum pressure I could safely apply to your lips, considering a new food supplement for Spot..." -- Data
"I'm glad I was in there somewhere" -- Jenna